CASINO TIPS
I recently read the list on Tricks Casinos Use on You, and found it interesting. As someone who has worked
in the casino industry, I was well-aware of these subtle, but powerful, Jedi
mind-tricks, and I’ve developed a few defenses of my own that I wanted to
share. These are in no particular order.
Know the Odds
This may seem like basic advice,
but you’d be surprised how many people actually think they have an edge over
the House. Regardless of how good you are, or how much experience you have, or
what technique you use, the casinos have been at this for a lot longer than you
have. The odds are stacked in their favor, and while you may win in the short
term, you will eventually lose. Knowing this can keep help keep your head
clear.
Take What You can Lose
I used to be asked which machine
paid out the most often in the casino, and my answer was always the same; “The one
with the letters A-T-M on the front.” When you decide to go to the casino, you
must assume that you are going to lose, and treat it as such. Decide beforehand
how much money you can afford to spend on the evening’s entertainment, and take
no more than that amount in cash. Leave your checkbook and credit cards in the
room or at home. When you have played through the cash in your pocket, leave.
Watch your Cash
This seems, again, like an
obvious point, but it is something that gamblers often forget. Always be aware
of your win-loss ratio. At any time, you should know exactly how much you have
spent and how much you have won since you began this session. It doesn’t seem
like much when you’re playing quarter slots until you realize that you’ve been
shoving five-dollar bills into the machine!
Know When to Quit
The casinos love to quote the old
adage, “A winner never quits and a quitter never wins,” but the opposite is
true when it comes to gambling. My wife and I have a standing rule: we play
only what we intended to play before we arrived (see #2), and, if at any time,
we reach double the amount we came in with (or greater), we cash out and leave.
Just as small losses add up quickly, so do small wins. We go to the casino to
eat about once every two months or so, and when we go, we usually bring a
little extra cash (often $5 or $10) to play in the machines. In general, we
lose or break even, but we have won (and walked out) often enough that, over
the course of three years, we’re up by about $25.
Watch the Clock
There’s a reason that few casinos
have clocks or windows. Compensate for this by wearing a watch or carrying a
timepiece and referring to it often. At any point, you should know exactly how
long you have been sitting at the table or the machine. If you’ve been at the
same location for more than 15 minutes and you haven’t at least broken even,
it’s time to cut your loses and go. Sometimes, in addition to limiting the
amount of money I bring with me, I also set my watch alarm to 30 minutes or so.
When the alarm goes off, regardless of whether I’m up or down, I leave.
Don’t Drink
Alcohol dulls the senses and
impairs judgment; that’s why they keep offering you those free drinks.
Fortunately, combating this tactic is as easy as saying, “No thanks.” Of
course, the waitress will keep tempting you. After all, her job is to keep you
there at the table or in front of the machine. If you need an excuse, you can
always claim to be the designated driver and they will usually leave you alone.
Just remember, they can’t force you to accept the alcohol.
Take Breaks
All too often while working the
floor, I would see people sitting in the same location for hours on end.
Sometimes (it happens much more often than you think), these people would not
even leave to take a bathroom break, instead simply urinating (or worse) right
there in the seat. Sometimes they would shift to another seat, but more often,
they simply sat in their own filth and kept playing. Such is the drive of
greed. Get up once in a while and walk around. Go to the restaurant (if there
is one) or snack bar and get a soft drink. Use that time to check your win-loss
ratio (see #3), and if you find that you’re ahead, it might be time to go.
No Systems
There’s no shortage of people
trying to sell you on time-tested methods for beating the casino. Everyone
seems to have a “system” that they claim works for them, but if you ask around,
you’ll find that they made their money selling books, not playing casinos. If
all of these systems worked as well as they say, how would casinos still be in
business? And doesn’t it stand to reason that the casino operators have read
these books too? There is no perfect system that can defeat the odds that are
weighted in favor of the house, and it’s a waste of money to try. Gambling is
largely luck, and you have no control over that factor. What’s more, most
casinos write the rules such that the odds go to them.
Hidden Costs
Many slot machines today offer
varying levels of payout with the number of coins played. Of particular
importance to note are linked machines that are placed in different casinos
across the country, and tied to a central mega-jackpot. Often, in order to win
the big money, you must play the maximum number of coins playable. I have been
witness to two occasions in which someone got the winning combination (and won
a small jackpot), but was “cheated out of” the big money because they did not
play the maximum number of coins. By law, this information must be made clear
on the face of the machine, but casinos are good at hiding it amongst the
colorful designs and other eye-candy.
Cash Outs
Cashiers in casinos have been
trained (or machines, where they replace humans, have been programmed) to
provide you with the largest possible denominations of bills when giving cash
outs. This is because they know that you have to pass through the maze to get
back out, and you might be tempted by the lure of a particular machine. You sit
down to play just “one more dollar,” only to discover that the smallest bill
you have is a five…
It would be wrong to say that no
one ever wins. In fact, casinos are filled with winners, sometimes big winners.
But stop and ask some of these people how much they have spent trying to get to
that point and the numbers become a little more revealing. It is very rare to
win huge amounts of cash without having paid excessive amounts to achieve that
goal. Ever notice that casino winners (in large part) tend to be in the ages of
50 and upwards? Who else has all day to spend in front of a slot machine,
shoving coins into it?
Sometimes, you get lucky. I’ve
had days when I’ve walked into a casino with two dollars and come out two hours
later with $20. There have also been days when I’ve gone in with $20 and come
out in 15 minutes with nothing. The best way to win? Don’t play. But if you
must, then these tips will at least help balance the odds a little.
